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We've been friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome many hardships, her resilience is commendable. However, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her partner walked away, and it was a huge shock. Several of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, since they had been only interested in the spouse. This surprised her. She put in more effort toward our bond, and must have grasped more acutely what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, quite a few in her circle vanished without her being certain of the reason. Her previous job turned on her, although she had been an excellent employee, and she left not understanding what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both retired leading to more frequent meetups, but I am finding the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I start subjects and she changes the talk toward what interests her. In terms of politics, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to recommend verifying facts and alternate views.

She has been planning a trip to a nation I've visited on several occasions even called home previously. My intention was to provide advice, yet it was met with resistance. She purely solely sought me to confirm her choices. I've just come back from 30 days in that country she hopes to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is distancing myself. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to end things abruptly, yet this is not often the easy answer that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for working things out requires bravery and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining what typically happens when you talk. This needs to be as factual as possible and basically what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express the way it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no disagreement here. Emotions are your feelings, of course. The third step is to ask how the two of you can shift the interaction of your friendship."

Remember she too has a point of view, so you need to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique involves stating to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak while I will not say anything for a set time."

This can be successful for promoting better communication.

Key Takeaways

She could ignore everything, for those who cling to a deep-seated story: they maintain a version about themselves they cannot release because their very survival relies on it being the only thing familiar to them. This poses a challenge when there seems no thoroughfare in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react defensively then consider on your words. And should you never reach an agreement, it provides satisfaction that you've been honest with her.